That question usually comes around the age of four or five, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.  I know for me, my oldest did not ask it when I was pregnant with my second child – when I was all prepared to answer it - and it wasn’t until my dog Petey was at a breeding facility that the question arose.  (In case you are wondering, Petey, a purebred Labrador Retriever, was donated to National Service Dogs breeding program.  He produced seven beautiful puppies (before coming home to us) who went on to work as guide dogs for children with Autism.)  My heart gave a little jump at the thought of answering the question but I plowed ahead, editing out some parts and obscuring others but basically giving the general idea of how a puppy was conceived.  I kept it very age appropriate and the wonderful thing about children is that they will give cues as to what is too much information and what isn’t.

Most parents feel relief when they finally answer that question and often believe that they do not have to deal with any more questions about conception or for that matter, sex.  Unfortunately, there will be a time when every parent needs to have ”the talk” and with popular culture being what it is, they won’t be able to get away with the whole birds and bees and the wonderful storks story.

It is hard to believe but in many places, the age of consent can be as low as 14.  That means that when a child, and I truly believe they are still children at that age, is 14, he or she can give the consent to have intercourse.  This is always shocking since our country does not believe that a child is responsible enough to make the decision to vote until they are 18 and are not responsible enough to drink until they are 19 (parts of Canada) or older but our legal system believes they are responsible enough to make an informed decision about sex.

This being said, it is very important for all parents to start having “the talk” in unstructured ways when their child is young.  This means that you answer questions in age appropriate ways whenever your child brooches the subject.  As they mature, they will understand that you are open to these dialogues and will seek out your advice much more than they seek out their peers or society when it comes to sex questions.

Another tip is to be completely open about the risks involved in intercourse.  Giving children all the tools to properly protect themselves is the best way to ensure the safety of your teens when and if they become sexually active.  If they are aware of STD’s, teen pregnancy and the ways to protect themselves then they are more likely to use protection. 

One problem that many parents face is the fact that they do not want to discuss birth control and STD prevention with their daughter(s).  Many girls are often pressured into believing that if they don’t have sex without a condom, they won’t be liked by the boy they are contemplating intercourse with.  Anther belief that many girls have is that birth control, besides the pill, is the responsibility of the boy and  if they are the ones providing the condoms, they will be looked down on.  It is very important to teach your daughter that she is responsible for her own safety and any boy that will not have intercourse with her simply because she is simply protecting herself from an STD is not worth her time.

Of course, we all hope that our children will never, ever, ever have intercourse and that all our grandchildren will actually be miracle baby’s but the logical side of us knows that that just isn’t going to happen.  Starting out on the right foot by having open discussions with your child throughout his or her life and also having more in-depth conversations with them when they reach their teen years, will help your child make the best decision regarding his or her own sex life.  It is scary and they are conversations that we wish we never have to make but don’t worry, you will get through it and your child will have the best possible start when they begin the gradual shift into adulthood.

All the best and if you would like any more advice, I would strongly recommend this article: Talking Sex with Teens.

Sirena

• Helping Myanmar I was going to write a post on child development today but I wanted to take a few moments to mention the cyclone that has killed thousands and has left millions displaced.  Estimates have put the expected death toll to 100,000 and the number could grow as the weeks go......
• Teaching Family Values Conclusion Welcome to the final post that I will be making on the topic of morals and family values.  I'm sure you are more than ready to move onto a new topic and tomorrow I will have a great recipe for you to use at home. But back to our topic......
• Your Baby at a Year Wow, can you believe that your baby has grown a year.  I know I was always surprised when that first birthday rolled around for both of my kids.  I felt like I had missed out on something, that maybe I hadn't cuddled enough or really enjoyed those quiet moments that......
• Media Influences: Weight Last night I took an hour to myself to watch America's Next Top Model.  Yes, I watch it every week and only started watching it during the last "cycle".  I say I watch it because I have an interest in fashion and it gives me some names to look into......
• Your Budding Artist: Age 4 to 5 This last weekend, I had my niece visiting. It is an interesting prospect when you have 3 children in the house and they range in age from 6 years 11 months to 4 years 2 months to 3 years 8 months. It gives you a little perspective on how quickly......

• Kids and Acoustic Instruments - Laying the Foundation There are a wide variety of different advantages that can be achieved through the teaching and learning of music. When it comes to laying the foundation between kids and acoustic instruments, you will find that there are numerous benefits to be discovered through music education, making it absolutely vital that......
• Motivating Children to Practice Music (Part 2) Playing the Piano is a Privilege (Not a Chore) An interesting experiment would be to forbid a young child to ever touch the piano, after all it is a very expensive instrument. One can easily imagine how much higher the piano instantly rises in that child's estimation. One then promises......
• Arlington National Cemetery Arlington National Cemetery, in Arlington County, Virginia is a military cemetery in the United States, established during the American Civil War on the grounds of Arlington House, formerly the estate of the family of Robert E. Lee's wife Mary Anna (Custis) Lee, a descendant of Martha Washington. The cemetery......
• Picking the Right Acoustic Instrument For Your Child Picking the right acoustic instrument from your child is important, because the wrong instrument will not inspire your child to learn how to master the concept of playing music. Research has shown that it is extremely beneficial for children to learn a musical instrument. Choosing an instrument that suits them......
• Determining your Testamentary Intent and Avoiding Common Mistakes I truly believe that everyone needs a will and have provided reason after reason why you need to create a Last Will and Testament ASAP.  These reasons include: Proper Distribution of Assets - Both in terms fo what you want and what is most efficient Guardianship Issues - Who is going......

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.