It is always amazing how quickly a child grows. One moment they are nestled safe in your tummy and you are worrying about the delivery, being ready and a whole number of other things. The next, they are raiding the fridge and asking you why you forgot to buy the volcano flavored Yogurt Tubes.

It can be overwhelming at times but usually it is a constant state of wonder as you watch your infant grow from newborn to new adult.

For many parents, the amount of development seen in the first three months can be mind boggling and you quickly realize that this isn’t just a cute bundle of joy but also an individual with a personality. Sure there will be times when your child will show larger developments such as walking or potty training but all the small developments that are taking place now are the first in bringing your baby from the cute, sleep all day newborn to the rambunctious preschooler.

Below is a list of what your newborn should be doing by three months of age. Remember that this is a range of normalcy and many factors can come into play when you look at the rate of development. Also remember that if your child is premature, he or she may not develop as quickly as a full term infant but eventually (usually around age 4 or 5) he or she will catch up to other children in that age group.

• Is able to lift head while he is enjoying tummy time.
• Can turn head from side to side
• Should be able to lift head when he is resting against your shoulder
• Recognizes mom and dad (or any main caregiver).
• Begins to tract objects and will look at them and follow them by moving his head. He won’t track objects with his eyes only.
• Turns head towards sound.
• Watch people in his life when they are feeding him, playing with him or simply holding.
• Is able to be calmed when he is comforted.

At this age, a baby will still need lots of attention and one on one time. There is no such thing as “spoiling” a baby and you shouldn’t listen to those who say that you can. This is a time when trust is being development and reaffirming, through actions, that you will be there when your baby needs you, is the best way to help nurture the bond that you have created.

Sirena Van Schaik

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I actually was on a hormonal roller coaster as my hormones went back to normal but there was much more than that.  I was sleeping less, and suddenly my life was not completely mine anymore.  I had to learn how to cope with not only a new role and schedule in my life but also with the care for someone else.  I wasn’t completely lost when it came to giving care.  I was after all an Early Childhood Educator and I was fresh out of college with a shiny new degree when my first son was born.  I wasn’t shocked by any of the things that was going on but I quickly realized that all the courses in the world and all the experience I had taking care of other people’s kids, really meant nothing when it came to taking care of my own. I was, like millions of other parents before me, a new parent and I was (and am) going to make my share of mistakes.

Still, as I held my children close to my chest, rocking them in their little nursery and singing songs like “Baby Beluga,” “The Unicorn,” and our all time favourite “Crazy by Patsy Cline.”  I didn’t worry about all those mistakes but simply enjoyed the quiet moments with my new babies.

Your baby during the first month:

During the first month of your baby’s life, he will spend a lot of time sleeping and eating but there will be moments when he is awake and experiencing new things.  The main focus of interest will be on mommy and daddy and it is very important for trust to begin at this age.  Cuddle your baby, talk to your baby and above all else, hold your baby when he is crying.  Although there are methods of child raising that recommend having babies cry until they sooth themselves, it should never be practiced with a child that is this young.  They simply do not have the knowledge or skills to sooth themselves and need a caring parent to sooth them.

In that first month, you will also find that your baby is crying often and it is not a planned behavior.  A newborn infant really has no other way to express his emotions.  When something is bothering them, they cry.  It can be difficult to deal with at times and if you find that you are becoming frustrated with the crying, it is time to take a break and ask for help. 

Caring for your new baby is very time consuming but i don’t really feel that it can be measured.  You care for your baby’s needs by feeding him every 2 to 4 hours and changing his diapers, between 6 to 8 diapers per day.  You give him a bath every other day to keep him clean and to avoid drying out his skin and you care for his umbilical cord until it falls off at 10 to 14 days.  You do all of these things but you also spend hours running your finger over his smooth cheeks, placing your hand on his chest to make sure that he is still taking deep, peaceful breaths and you hold him as snuggles against you. 

It is often surprising that during the first month, your baby is already learning and will meet a few developmental milestones in that time.  By the end of the first month your baby should:

• Stop crying when you comfort him.
• Nurse well, whether this is through breastfeeding or through bottle feeding
• Look at you when you are holding him
• Startle at loud noises

Make sure that while your baby is going through all these new experiences that you take the time to have a few experiences just for you.  Make sure that you do something for yourself each day and that you try to sleep whenever baby is sleeping.  Also, don’t worry about the laundry, dishes or any other chore.  They will get done sooner or later and the emphasis at this time is caring for yourself and your baby. 

Above all else, simply enjoy these quiet moments because as motherhood has taught me, the older your child gets, the further apart those quiet moments become.

Sirena Van Schaik

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I wasn’t actually nervous but as each person reflected their own opinion on the matter I quickly began to stress about it.  Wait a minute, he’s 7 months old and he hasn’t crawled yet, now he’s 8 months old and he hasn’t crawled yet.  What is going on?  Fear found a nice spot in my stomach and I repeatedly searched through my various resource materials from the books I had in college on Child Development to the countless handouts I had picked up at various workshops and parenting classes.  I’m sure that you have probably been in the same place and maybe you still are.  There is so much stress with having to wait for that developmental milestone where you can say, “Whew, my child is just like all the rest, maybe even better because he or she did this before everyone else.”

If you are worried about your infant’s development, you should sit back and take a deep breath and remember this phrase, “Range of Normalcy.” 

Repeat that over and over to yourself and whenever someone asks if your child is crawling or has accomplished any other developmental milestone, say, “No but he is still in the range of normalcy.”

You will hear me say it often enough in all my developmental articles and all it refers to is the normal range of ages where a milestone takes place.  So with crawling, the range of normalcy is 6 to 10 months.  Yes some children crawl before 6 months and others crawl after 10 but the majority of children crawl between 6 to 10 months.  I knew this when I had my first son and I still stressed over his lack of interest in crawling.  In fact, my son didn’t crawl for the first time until he was just over 10 months old, on Father’s Day of all days!

Now that you know the range of normalcy for crawling, there are a few things that you can do to help promote crawling in your child.

1)  Get down on the floor with him or her.  Nothing encourages play and crawling more than if their mom and dad are sprawled out on their tummies moving around the floor with their child.  Not only does this give you a chance to play with your baby but it gives you the opportunity to see the world from his or her vantage point.  You can find little safety risks and deal with them before your baby gets a chance to pursue them.

2)  Place toys in front of your baby just out of reach so that rocking motions forward will bring the toy into his or her grasp.  Your baby will start reaching and will be encouraged to move forward.  This also helps with other developmental milestones such as hand eye coordination, and grasping.

3)  Limit the amount of time that you place your baby in a walker.  I’m not a big fan of walkers since they are the cause of many infant related injuries and there are some studies that point to walkers causing developmental delays but I have been guilty of using the saucers without the wheels.  They can be a great toy for any infant old enough to hold himself up but they should only be used for very short periods of time.  Even though many studies disagree over the impact, the chance of there being an impact is enough to avoid using them excessively.

4)  Remind yourself that your child will develop at his or her own speed.  If you have concerns and if your child is not crawling by 12 months of age, please speak with your pediatrician.

One last note about crawling:  Some children do not crawl, they go from sitting up to walking while others will scoot on their bottoms instead of crawling.  There is nothing unusual about this and you shouldn’t have any concerns if your child gains his mobility by sitting and scooting.  In the end, every child will find his or her own way in a manner that is uniquely theirs so just enjoy and love every moment of it.

Happy crawling,

 Sirena

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