Tanja Cilia joins us again for another post on going back to school.

Thank you Tanja for joining us today.

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The First Day Of School. A phrase that must be written like that, because it is such an important milestone for the child -and for the parents too.

School is the place where a child may spend more of his waking time than he does in his home, not counting sleep. It is the place where he will make and break friendships; where he will mould his character further - and decide upon his future.

School is the place where parents have little or no influence over the daily interaction of a child with his peers and superiors. They may try to tell him what to do and what to say - but when push comes to shove, he must face the music alone. Talk about performance anxiety!

Education and learning are stressful enough as it is - and combined with a cocktail of new emotion, rituals and situations, the trauma and strain felt by the child, who may not be prepared for them, increases. All too often, the promised fun and games take second place. What the child sees in Orientation Day is a nice, smiling teacher - not one who is worn to a frazzle by spilled water-colors and miniature wars over toys.

To top it all, the parents’ attitudes, and feelings of anxiety, guilt or fear may be subliminally transferred to the child, who assumes that being uprooted from his home environment into the alien one is somehow “his fault” for not being “good”.

Children must never be compared with others; they absorb skills at their own rate, using their innate learning styles. It is wrong to expect a child to conform to a set of milestones, at such a tender aged. Moreover, different children bring different skills, at different levels, to the same class. Some children barely know how to put their shoes on the right feet - others can tie their laces into a perfect bow. Some may not even know numbers exist, whereas others can count to 100.

Psychotherapist David Grillo explains it in this manner:

One of the best things about staring a child off with playschool or kindergarten or pres-school is that they are not thrown in at the deep end. The fact that they don’t have to take notebooks and stuff eases them gently into the world of learning.

For some kids, especially those who fall under the youngest age bracket, the first few days can be traumatic. It is the first time that they separate for a ‘long’ period from the parents. Separation anxiety is normal, and is also a part of growing up. But supporting them and ensuring that the parents, or someone with whom they identify, are home when they come back will help. It is also a good idea for both parents and not one to accompany the child to the door the first time.

These days, most teachers or kindergarten assistants are very well trained. And that makes a lot of difference.

Preparing a child for school psychologically goes hand-in-glove with the mundane preparations of uniforms (if applicable). Getting this must be a ‘special event’, with an emphasis on ‘school clothes for children who are no longer babies.’

If possible, take him with you too when you purchase his painting tabard, his lunch box, napkins and enough socks to have a clean pair each day. This is not the moment to worry that your child is gifted and will be “kept back” by the hoi polloi. That comes later.

• Some children like to be alone with the person who is taking them to school, for the journey there. Others would prefer to be with a peer. See what works best for your child and take it from there. If the child has to take the school van, because of distances or time constraints, make sure to prepare him for this.
• Never cajole a child into behaving like a “big boy” (i.e. ‘no tears’) because the “others” will laugh at him. This puts him on the defensive. Say, instead, that you are proud of him for actually being a good boy, even if he is bawling his eyes out.
• Gradually change the child’s routine so that a week before school begins, he will be getting up and going to bed at approximately the times he will be doing when school commences. This gets him used to the routine.
• Tell the child inasmuch as he is able to comprehend, that it is normal to have butterflies when starting a new school moving to a new house, or starting an new job. The idea is to get he butterflies flying in formation.
• Getting to school should not be rush-scuttle-dash-sprint. The child can set his own alarm clock and fold his clothes neatly over the back of the chair, and make sure any stationery needed is in his bag, on the eve of each school day.
• If you have to refer to your own childhood experiences, make sure the child cannot read anything negative in your attitude or tone of voice.
• If the child’s school requires a packed lunch, allow the child to select what he wants to eat, and perhaps to help prepare it.

Angele Licari, psychologist, has this to say about the above:

Firstly check if you, as a parent, are psychologically prepared for your child to be leaving home to start school. I would sooner begin with preparing the parents, and not the child about the loss and attachment issues affecting both.

If you have any anxieties of your own, these can be non-verbally be transmitted to the child and become his own. If your own move to school as a child was tarnished with any negative connections, then you might assume the child would be passing through the same experiences, thus finding it hard to let go in a healthy way. Come to terms with your own un-finished past.

Every so often, check how your child interacts with other children. Check if he is clingy, jealous, rough, intimidated, insecure, or perhaps too confident, and how s/he behaves towards others in general. Consider whether the source for negative behaviors is sibling rivalry; or having a younger sibling who is allowed to stay home whilst s/he is being sent to school. Address these matters before they escalate and compound the child’s stress.

Go through the daily routine with your child so that he can visualize what school means, while at home. You can help him understand that how he leaves home, (transport etc), what things he might be doing throughout the day at school, (games, reading, playing, etc), that he would be brought back home or picked up. This is especially important. It will help him feel he can cope with new things as a matter of course.

Discuss openly how you feel; ask your child how s/he feels about the whole thing. You can say that you will miss him but that you are happy that he will now be learning new things and enjoying the company of his friends. You can ask whether he has any thoughts about the whole experience.

In a matter-of-fact way, without any drama, remind the child that if there is anything with which he cannot cope, the teacher is replacing the parent or carers during school time, until he come back to ‘home sweet home’.

Some schools allow parents to stay in the building for an hour or two during the first weeks of school, just in case anything untoward happens. Ironically, this sometimes makes the parents feel more bereft than ever; it’s as if they are extraneous - because since the child has not thrown a wobbly, it must mean that he has “forgotten all about them”.

by Tanja Cilia

Photo Credit

This isn’t the first time that we learnt about snails, actually it is a topic that we have pursued several times. I guess when your a kid, you can’t get bored about anything that is slimy and as interesting as a snail.

So here are a few facts about snails that you may find interesting and at the very least, you will know the answer to it.

• Snails are not insects but are in fact mollusks and belong to the same family as clams.
• Snails are gastropods, which means “stomach foot.”
• Snails have both female and male reproductive organs.
• The largest snail in the world weighed in at 2lbs and 15 inches long

Now that we have a few interesting facts. Let’s look at the external anatomy of the snail.

1. The Shell: this is the most obvious part of the snail and the one that will be easy for your child to find. It protects the snail and provides a home on its back. Of course, there is a difference between a home and a habitat.
2. The Foot: this makes up most of the body of the snail and is what the snail moves on.
3. Respiratory Pore: there is a small hole on the side of the snails body just below the shell where the snail breaths from.
4. The Head: A pretty obvious part of the body, it is identified by the four tentacles protruding from it.
5. The Tentacles: there are four on the head. Two small ones and two long ones.
6. The Eye Spots: found at the end of the long tentacles, these are the eyes so when you poke a tentacle to get it to go in, you are actually poking the snail in the eye.
7. The Mouth: also found on the head, it contains tongue with file-like teeth, which is called the radula.

For an excellent printout on snail anatomy, I would recommend this site.

Before I close off on this topic, I would like to mention a few things about keeping snails. If your kids are like mine, chances are they have already asked to keep a snail or two. It is very easy to set up a terrarium for a snail and all you need to be sure of having are a few plants, and a cuttle bone so the shells stay hard. In the wild, snails will eat limestone and other rocks to maintain the right amount of minerals to keep the shell hard. In captivity, snails do not have the alternative food so it is important to provide it.

If you are keeping a snail, you can feed it any type of fruit or vegetables (I found they love apples) and you will need to keep the terrarium moist. Spray the snails with a water bottle every day. If you forget, don’t worry too much. Snails will often close up their shell with a plug of mucus and then hibernate during times of drought or lack of food. If your snail does this, simply spray with water and watch as it slowly wakes up.

I hope this fills you in a bit on snails.

Sirena Van Schaik

Photo Credit

What you need:

• 1 1/2 cup of salt
• 3 cups flour
• 3 cups cold water
• 3 tbsp oil
• 6 tsp cream of tartar
• Food Coloring

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan, mix together the dry ingredients.
2. Add in the water and oil.
3. Place on the stove and cook at a low-medium to a medium temperature.
4. Stir continuously until the dough pulls away from the pot. (Another test is if it can be pinched without sticking to you fingers but be careful since it is hot.)
5. Remove from the heat and place on a cutting board.
6. Knead the dough until it has the proper consistancy.
7. Break into 3 or 4 balls and set to the side.
8. Add a few drops of food coloring to each ball and knead until the color is blended in.

*optional: if you are only making one color, you can add the food coloring to the water and cook the color in.*

Sirena Van Schaik

This is actually the first year for me where I have, not one, but two children in school. Sure, the youngest won’t need the books and pencils, or any of the other stuff that the higher grades needs but he will need new clothes and two pairs of running shoes (like my other son, he likes to grow end of summer, just in time for September and new shoes times two).

With just the cost of clothes, I am going to be out many pretty pennies and as hard as I pinch them, they never seem to stay in hand.

There is a relief to back to school expenses and although you won’t spend less, you will actually spend it over a period of time, which gives you a chance to spend less and also a chance to feel like you are spending much less than the year before.

The Clothes:

Yes, the clothes, how I hate those clothes. It’s not that I don’t enjoy shopping for clothes but the cost can be heart wrenching. The kids need the latest in style and nothing in their closet fits right anymore (even if they happen to have a ton of outfits that still fit and look great.) The first thing you need to do is cut the fat when it comes to clothes. Look at what they really need and get rid of the rest.

Once you have a list of what they need, mark it with a level of importance. Anything that isn’t a “stat” item, can be shelved until the previous month or the next pay check. This means, you won’t have a heart attack when you step up to the cashier.

The “stat” items can still cost a fair amount so start breaking out those flyer’s. Find out what’s on sale, when and where and then sit back and wait. Don’t settle for the most expensive item, no matter how much your child whines, since all the items will go on sale before you know it.

If it is possible, purchase one or two items for the first couple days of school and then hold off on buying the rest of the clothes until the back to school sales start. These are the real sales when retailers are trying to unload their large amount of back to school items that they purchased.

This same policy applies to the actual school supplies.

The Supplies

As I just mentioned, one way to save is to work on the “stat” items. Figure out what you need right away and then hold off buying everything else until they are on sale.

If you are lucky, your school will be like my son’s where they give the list after school starts. Another trick that they utilize is to have a list sent out over the course of the school year. This reporting term, we are studying about (blank) and your child will need etc., etc., etc. This cuts up the cost of school supplies throughout the year.

When in doubt, check with the teacher. If she (or he) can give you an idea of what is imperative, then you can plan to save.

The School Itself

I have come to the realization that school is not free. Sure, they spout public education as free education but anyone who has to buy the hot lunches, the milk, school pictures, school fund raisers and all the other reasons why you need to send a check into the school, know the fact; sending your kids to school isn’t cheap.

A great way to offset the costs of all the beginning of the year expenses is to discuss with your child what they want. If they don’t drink the milk at noon, then don’t waste the money. Same goes for hot lunches. if they are for all the extras, and you can afford it, by all means do so but save yourself from a big payment by stretching it over the school year. Many schools will send new order forms home after each reporting period. Even still, those checks can be pretty big so brace yourself.

if you have any money saving tips for back to school, please feel free to post here or email me at sirena_vanschaik@yahoo.ca.

Sirena Van Schaik

Photo Credit

The voice whispered from my son’s room, I cracked an eye open and glanced at the clock, quarter to 7. The first time in 7 years that my son was up before I was on his birthday. Usually birthdays are like Christmas and Easter, where I get up around 5:30 or 6 and tinker around the house, setting the stage for the morning to come. Brew coffee, check, pick up anything that wasn’t picked up the night before, check, get the video camera ready, check and grab the camera, check. At Christmas, I always turn on the lights so the kids can wake up to a magical sight of a shining Christmas tree filled with presents.

After my checklist is complete, I head back to bed and pretend to sleep until the kids get up. This birthday, though, he beat me to the starting gate and I decided to just stay in bed and let him come and get me.

Birthdays are a very important event in my house, or rather the kid’s birthdays are a very important event. I have special birthday traditions that I follow every year and I always recommend them to everyone.

The first tradition, like many, are the setting up. The night before the actual birthday, my husband and I sit in the living room and blow up enough balloons to fill the floor. In the center of this sea of balloons are the presents.

In the morning, the kid’s stumble out of bed and find the balloon filled living room. From there they open their birthday presents (I like to give a small one to the child who isn’t the birthday boy) and then we have a great breakfast.

As much as the kids love the balloon filled living room, I know that it will probably be a short lived tradition. I can’t see a 16 year old being overjoyed with the balloon tradition but until then, I’m happy to keep it up.

This isn’t the tradition that is important, however; the most important one is a rule that I set into place on my oldest’s first birthday; we never work on their birthday. That’s right, I close up shop and have always done so, even when I worked a regular job with a cranky employer. I would scrape up those holiday hours just to blow them on one day of fun, but it is totally worth it.

This year, yes I took the day off, was spent with a day of hiking, fishing and picnicking. We just enjoyed the outdoors as a family and although we didn’t spend much, it was an excellent day. My son was overjoyed when he found a fossil of a trilobite (much to our surprise) and even more ecstatic when he caught a crayfish.

The day ended, as it always does with a nice meal and the birthday cake. At the end of it, my son wound his arms around my neck and whispered, “Thank you for such a great birthday.”

It was a reminder that no matter how busy life gets, he knows that I will always be there when it really counts.

So I’m curious, do you have any birthday traditions?

Sirena Van Schaik

This activity is very easy to do and can be done with children of any ages. It can get fairly messy so make sure you paint where it can be cleaned easily (avoid any carpeted areas) or you can take it outside for a nice outdoor art experience.

What you need:

• Construction Paper (card stock works better since it can hold the weight of the sand.)
• Liquid Tempura Paint (I’m fond of using blue, white and silver)
• Liquid Dish Soap
• Sand
• Separate containers for the paint
• Paint Brushes (mid-sized brushes are best)

Directions:

1. Pour the Tempura paint into separate containers. Add in a few drops of liquid dish soap so the paint will clean up easier.
2. Pour in a bit of sand. It shouldn’t be so much that it dries the paint but enough where you the paint is thickened and you can see the grains of sand.
3. Stir until it is well blended.
4. Allow your child to paint.

And that is it. When the paint hardens, it creates an interesting effect and if you use the blue, white and silver, it almost looks like a picture of waves.

Try different colors and play around with the texture to create different effects.

Sirena Van Schaik

Photo Credit

But I digress and we should really be talking about cheap summer activities and the one that I would love to mention are Splash Pads.

Okay, for some of you, splash pads might not be that cheap.  I know a lot of amusement parks have them and they can be a fair amount to get into but over the last few years, I have noticed a push for free splash pads. 

Some of these little gems are practically hidden from the general public and it takes a local who really knows the area to actually find them.  When you do, though; it is well worth the effort and you can easily spend an hour, several hours or even a whole day there.  And the added bonus is: if they are local, your kids can invite a few friends and be set for the day.

If you go to a splash pad, there are a few things that you should bring with you. I know you’ll remember your towel and you’ll remember your sunscreen but something just as important are pool shoes or any type of sandals that your children can wear. 

I find that many times the slip free surface on the ground can become…well..slippery.  I know it’s not supposed to but it does and who knows how many accidents (of the potty kind) have occurred on that surface.

Also make sure that you bring a blanket to sit on and hats for shade.  One existing trend of splash pads is the lack of shade. I’m not sure why the designers do this but I think it has something to do with the water. If people get hot, they’ll go under the spray, right?  Wrong!

Although I am not shy about wading in fully clothed, I have been at splash pads featuring cool and content kids only to see their parents slowly baking in the hot sun.  Some have just stopped by on their way home from work or maybe its a treat before they head off for work.  Regardless of the reason, the parents stay out of the water and overheat.  So the moral of the story, bring a shade umbrella and a couple hats.

Lastly, make it a fun day.  Bring a picnic, a camera and stop for ice cream on the way home.  Your kids won’t notice that you didn’t go to the newest and greatest theme park and all they will remember is all the fun they had with you over the summer.  And, of course, you will remember all the money that you saved, which is now going into school clothes and school supplies.

Sirena Van Schaik

I am a firm believer that rain boots is a necessary staple of not only childhood but also of life.  There are very few times when I tell my kids not to jump into a puddle that they have been gazing at with longing, to laugh and enjoy the silliness of being covered in mud.  Many times I am in there with my kids, jumping around, seeing just how high I can make those splashes and I feel that many of life lessons can be found in splashing around in a puddle.

And even if I don’t find a single lesson, I still come in out of the rain (yes it’s usually raining when we go puddle ducking) and feel like I have accomplished something very important that day.  For a few minutes, I wasn’t the mom telling the kids to clean their room, pick up toys or do their homework, for a few minutes, I was simply a mom that wasn’t worried about tomorrow or the state of the house but I was worried simply of having fun with my kids.  Of course, our adventures through mud usually ends with me doing housework (mopping) and laundry but it is worth every muddy footprint across my kitchen floor.

Okay, i seemed to have rambled a bit there so without further meanderings of thought, here is the story I wanted to share with you.

Rainboots Welcome by Sirena Van Schaik

The puddle stretched across the field forming a large cloud-filled pond. The cold depths indeterminable from where I stood on the walkway but the grass that usually graced the field was completely covered by the dark gray water.

The red and gray wagon thumped behind me. The small boy, my youngest son, sat in the wagon staring at the wet field with interested blue eyes. My oldest son, his small warm hand resting in my own as he walked beside me, completed our group of three bundled travelers on our way to drop him off at school.

It wasn’t the puddle that made me pause or the small sideways shuffle that my son took in the puddle’s direction; it was the group of children gathering on its shores. A smile played at my lips as I watched a boy roll up his tan khakis until they were bunched around his thighs, black rubber boots gleaming in the dim light just below the boy’s pants. With one hand holding them up and the other hand balanced out to the side, the boy looked back at the other children; laughter on his face and mischief in his eyes.

The small group of children squealed in delight, a cry filling the air as they called to him, “Don’t do it, you’re going to get wet.”

The boy smiled at the challenge and took a tentative step into the rain-made pond. Water sloshed over his black rubber boots, the edge of the pond too shallow for the water to reach the tops. Triumph flashed across his face as another step proved the water shallow still. More children ran to the water’s edge, more of them hiking up their pants to follow their adventurous comrade into the stormy depths.

I chuckled as I watched, my own son gravitating towards the crowds of laughing adventurers. I found myself judging the cold water, trying to predict how far I could get before the water rushed into my winter boots. I tried to predict how far I could pull the wagon before it got bogged down, leaving me to rescue a wet and laughing toddler from the lake. I took a step towards the puddle, my son in step beside me but the distant clang of a school bell reminded me that we needed to get to school.

The school beckoned and with it responsibility and motherhood and with a sigh I answered the call. Lifting up the handle of the wagon, I called to my oldest that it was time to go. The puddle stood silent and empty behind us while groups of laughing children made a dash towards the distant school. As they ran many of the children cast longing-filled glances at the puddle, probably assuring it of their return after school that afternoon.

I walked hand in hand with my son, pulling the wagon behind me, glancing at the turned faces of my sons and their own expressions as they said their own farewells to the untried puddle made my heart dance with laughter.

After dropping my son off, I wandered home. My steps were light; a wistful smile spread across my lips as I thought of that cold puddle. I found myself wanting to turn around and try my luck at making it across, but instead I continued on.

As I walked I thought about my youth and the carefree way I would splash through puddles. I thought of the delight I took in feeling mud and water flow into my boots and soak into my socks. At that instant a plaque came into mind that I knew I would have to make and hang beside my door. A plaque to remind me to take delight in the simplest of things, like small feet splashing through puddles and the laughter that comes with it; a plaque that would simply read, “Rainboots Welcome”.

Sirena Van Schaik

So for don’t sweat the two’s, and when you get to the three’s just smile and think, “Well, it could be worse, she could be a teenager.”

I’m not saying all teens are difficult but I just wanted to illustrate the point that every stage in development can be difficult, be it 2, 3, 13 or 43.

But enough with all the terrible stuff, let’s look at how far your little boy or girl has come along and go over a few developmental milestones that you should be seeing before or around your child’s second birthday.

Please bear in mind my long rant about “range of normalcy” and remember that when we talk about any developmental milestone, we are talking about an average age when that milestone occurs.

• Improved balance and mobility. He should be able to walk by himself without any support. This includes being able to walk backwards and also being able to bend down and pick up toys from floor without falling or stumbling.
• Is able to manipulate objects and use basic puzzles.
• Should be able to label things such as parts of her body (up to 6), and pictures that she sees in books. Cat, car, tree, etc.
• Is more aware of the actions of those around him. This begins with imitation play and also wanting to help out in activities such as cleaning. One activity that I always gave my kids both at home and in my class was to simply wash a table. They loved it and I would have regular arguments in my class over whose turn it was to wash the table.
• Able to feed herself and can use both a spoon and a fork.
• Able to build a tower of blocks that are 3 high.
• Enjoys dancing to music
• Able to walk up and down stairs with support.
• Should be able to throw a ball
• Is able to turn doorknobs

Over the following year you will begin to see many other milestones occurring and will also start to see an interest in potty training, if you don’t already. Remember to look at the two’s, not as something terrible but as something wondrous as your child learns and grows, a journey that you always look back at and wonder, “Why on earth did I want to get through it so quickly.”

Trust me, take the time and splash in a few mud puddles during that journey.

Sirena Van Schaik

Okay, maybe it isn’t quite that great but around here, the kids love this time of year. Not because they are bored or they enjoy torturing me, although I wonder about that sometimes, but simply because this is the time of the year when the toads become very plentiful around my house.

On any given day, we can catch between 3 to 7 toads of various sizes. Today, we had the opportunity to not only catch a huge toad, about the size of my hand, but we also found a Northern Leopard Frog in our field. A very cool looking frog with leopard like spots on its bright green body.

Since we have so many warty visitors right now, I decided to start a mini project, remember those, and create a terrarium for the toads. We currently have 7 toads living with us for the next few days and we will swap them out every few days so no toad is hurt during this project.

I would like to mention that it is important to know what species you are dealing with when you bring anything into the house. Even if you know the species, handling should be kept to a minimum since they can carry parasites and most toads have a mild poison. Hands must be washed thoroughly after touching a toad.

Since some species are disappearing, it is important to not take too many species from their natural habitat. The Northern Leopard Frog came to visit for about an hour and then was released back into the field since this is a disappearing amphibian. The large toad also had a short visit before sauntering back into the field.

Another point that I would like to mention is feeding. Some animals will not eat while they are kept in captivity, although it is said that American Toads will adapt to eating.  Still, mini projects need to be kept short for this reason to ensure optimal health for your little amphibian visitor.

Now that I kind of preached about properly studying these animals, let’s look at building a toad terrarium for short visits. If you would like a cheat sheet on Toads, please visit this article.

What you need:

• A large container. I originally used an old baby bathtub for this when the toads we had were very small. Even though toads do jump, they do not jump as high as frogs. If the toads are small, a baby bathtub works well but any bigger in size and they will jump out.
• Coconut Fibre: You can get this at any pet store that has lizard supplies.
• A water dish: not too deep since toads can drown if they can’t get out of the water.
• Rocks: some rocks and stones for decorating and providing places for the toads to sit (this is more for your kids than for the toads)
• A container for the toads to hide under. Cut out a little door where they can get into it.
• Plants: one or two plants to provide more hiding places.
• Spray Bottle
• Mesh wiring (optional)

Directions:

1. Place the Coconut Fibre into a washed (without soap or chemicals) baby bathtub or other large container. I upgraded to a rubbermaid container.
2. Wet it down but don’t soak it completely.
3. Place the container for water in one area and the hiding container in another. Try to sink them into the fibre for stability.
4. Place in a few plants and the other decorations.
5. Add the toads.

It is pretty simple to set up a terrarium for a toad. You don’t need a mesh lid for the container if it is deep enough but if you have cats, protect the toads and your pet by attaching a mesh lid.

Check the water every day and spray the habitat with water to keep it moist. Usually you can tell if the habitat is too dry because the toads will sit in the water. Make sure you refill the water daily and if possible, let the water sit in a clean bottle to cut down on harsh chemicals in our tap water.

And that is all there is to it. Keep a toad, or toads, for a few days is a great opportunity for learning. Children can learn about animals, how to care for them, about the world around them and about the animals habitat. You can also teach about conservation and caring for our earth.

All the best and happy toad hunting.

Sirena Van Schaik