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Sirena Van Schaik

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The voice whispered from my son’s room, I cracked an eye open and glanced at the clock, quarter to 7. The first time in 7 years that my son was up before I was on his birthday. Usually birthdays are like Christmas and Easter, where I get up around 5:30 or 6 and tinker around the house, setting the stage for the morning to come. Brew coffee, check, pick up anything that wasn’t picked up the night before, check, get the video camera ready, check and grab the camera, check. At Christmas, I always turn on the lights so the kids can wake up to a magical sight of a shining Christmas tree filled with presents.

After my checklist is complete, I head back to bed and pretend to sleep until the kids get up. This birthday, though, he beat me to the starting gate and I decided to just stay in bed and let him come and get me.

Birthdays are a very important event in my house, or rather the kid’s birthdays are a very important event. I have special birthday traditions that I follow every year and I always recommend them to everyone.

The first tradition, like many, are the setting up. The night before the actual birthday, my husband and I sit in the living room and blow up enough balloons to fill the floor. In the center of this sea of balloons are the presents.

In the morning, the kid’s stumble out of bed and find the balloon filled living room. From there they open their birthday presents (I like to give a small one to the child who isn’t the birthday boy) and then we have a great breakfast.

As much as the kids love the balloon filled living room, I know that it will probably be a short lived tradition. I can’t see a 16 year old being overjoyed with the balloon tradition but until then, I’m happy to keep it up.

This isn’t the tradition that is important, however; the most important one is a rule that I set into place on my oldest’s first birthday; we never work on their birthday. That’s right, I close up shop and have always done so, even when I worked a regular job with a cranky employer. I would scrape up those holiday hours just to blow them on one day of fun, but it is totally worth it.

This year, yes I took the day off, was spent with a day of hiking, fishing and picnicking. We just enjoyed the outdoors as a family and although we didn’t spend much, it was an excellent day. My son was overjoyed when he found a fossil of a trilobite (much to our surprise) and even more ecstatic when he caught a crayfish.

The day ended, as it always does with a nice meal and the birthday cake. At the end of it, my son wound his arms around my neck and whispered, “Thank you for such a great birthday.”

It was a reminder that no matter how busy life gets, he knows that I will always be there when it really counts.

So I’m curious, do you have any birthday traditions?

Sirena Van Schaik

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I am a firm believer that rain boots is a necessary staple of not only childhood but also of life.  There are very few times when I tell my kids not to jump into a puddle that they have been gazing at with longing, to laugh and enjoy the silliness of being covered in mud.  Many times I am in there with my kids, jumping around, seeing just how high I can make those splashes and I feel that many of life lessons can be found in splashing around in a puddle.

And even if I don’t find a single lesson, I still come in out of the rain (yes it’s usually raining when we go puddle ducking) and feel like I have accomplished something very important that day.  For a few minutes, I wasn’t the mom telling the kids to clean their room, pick up toys or do their homework, for a few minutes, I was simply a mom that wasn’t worried about tomorrow or the state of the house but I was worried simply of having fun with my kids.  Of course, our adventures through mud usually ends with me doing housework (mopping) and laundry but it is worth every muddy footprint across my kitchen floor.

Okay, i seemed to have rambled a bit there so without further meanderings of thought, here is the story I wanted to share with you.

Rainboots Welcome by Sirena Van Schaik

The puddle stretched across the field forming a large cloud-filled pond. The cold depths indeterminable from where I stood on the walkway but the grass that usually graced the field was completely covered by the dark gray water.

The red and gray wagon thumped behind me. The small boy, my youngest son, sat in the wagon staring at the wet field with interested blue eyes. My oldest son, his small warm hand resting in my own as he walked beside me, completed our group of three bundled travelers on our way to drop him off at school.

It wasn’t the puddle that made me pause or the small sideways shuffle that my son took in the puddle’s direction; it was the group of children gathering on its shores. A smile played at my lips as I watched a boy roll up his tan khakis until they were bunched around his thighs, black rubber boots gleaming in the dim light just below the boy’s pants. With one hand holding them up and the other hand balanced out to the side, the boy looked back at the other children; laughter on his face and mischief in his eyes.

The small group of children squealed in delight, a cry filling the air as they called to him, “Don’t do it, you’re going to get wet.”

The boy smiled at the challenge and took a tentative step into the rain-made pond. Water sloshed over his black rubber boots, the edge of the pond too shallow for the water to reach the tops. Triumph flashed across his face as another step proved the water shallow still. More children ran to the water’s edge, more of them hiking up their pants to follow their adventurous comrade into the stormy depths.

I chuckled as I watched, my own son gravitating towards the crowds of laughing adventurers. I found myself judging the cold water, trying to predict how far I could get before the water rushed into my winter boots. I tried to predict how far I could pull the wagon before it got bogged down, leaving me to rescue a wet and laughing toddler from the lake. I took a step towards the puddle, my son in step beside me but the distant clang of a school bell reminded me that we needed to get to school.

The school beckoned and with it responsibility and motherhood and with a sigh I answered the call. Lifting up the handle of the wagon, I called to my oldest that it was time to go. The puddle stood silent and empty behind us while groups of laughing children made a dash towards the distant school. As they ran many of the children cast longing-filled glances at the puddle, probably assuring it of their return after school that afternoon.

I walked hand in hand with my son, pulling the wagon behind me, glancing at the turned faces of my sons and their own expressions as they said their own farewells to the untried puddle made my heart dance with laughter.

After dropping my son off, I wandered home. My steps were light; a wistful smile spread across my lips as I thought of that cold puddle. I found myself wanting to turn around and try my luck at making it across, but instead I continued on.

As I walked I thought about my youth and the carefree way I would splash through puddles. I thought of the delight I took in feeling mud and water flow into my boots and soak into my socks. At that instant a plaque came into mind that I knew I would have to make and hang beside my door. A plaque to remind me to take delight in the simplest of things, like small feet splashing through puddles and the laughter that comes with it; a plaque that would simply read, “Rainboots Welcome”.

Sirena Van Schaik

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As with adults, or any age for that matter, each milestone is reached after the skills are built to reach it. This means that developmentally the child needs to be ready, both physically and intellectually, for the milestone to occur. Once the milestone has occurred, the child must continue to use it, to practice the skill and to build upon it. A child learns to sit up, then to pull him self up and then to stand without assistance.

The same building of skills can be said with fine motor skills. A child begins with a Palmer grasp which evolves into a pincer grasp and the more practice a child has with using a skill, the faster it develops.

I have found over the years, that cutting is one skill that is often ignored by parents. This is an excellent skill to build on and it helps the child build in many developmental areas. Obviously, one of the skills built upon with using scissors are fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination but did you also know that scissors also help with spatial awareness, since the child needs to judge the distance between the scissors and the paper. It also builds on coordination and allows opportunities for a child to learn how to use their thumb and pointer finger in a smooth motion.

As with the gain of any skill, if the child is successful, this builds more self-confidence and a higher sense of esteem…and all of this is from a silly pair of scissors. Amazing, right?

Now back to actually getting your child to use scissors. I often find that many parents are terrified of allowing their child to use scissors and some of their worries aren’t unfounded. Yes, children have been hurt using scissors but if you have strict rules concerning scissors and are present when the scissors are in use, the likelihood of injury goes down significantly.

When you are getting ready to set up an opportunity for cutting with scissors, there are a few things that you should have. Good child safe scissors are important. Make sure they are sharp enough so they cut well and the child won’t become frustrated with his inability to cut. Next, use cardstock with younger children. The cardstock is less likely to bend in the scissors and the child can cut much easier. As they become more competent with the scissors, you can begin to use regular paper.

After that, simply explain scissor safety with your child. They should never run with scissors, or climb around with them in their hand. Scissors should be pointed away from their body and they need to hold paper far away from the scissors. You will have to correct hand placement every once in a while but they eventually get the picture. As for carrying scissors, teach children to hold the metal of the closed scissors, point down. If your child is young, just place a rule that they are not allowed to carry scissors from their seat but illustrate how to properly carry scissors by doing so yourself.

And now a few exercises with cutting.

Exercise 1:

If you don’t want to start with regular scissors, start with playdough scissors. This will help build the coordination and will provide lots of opportunity for cutting. Although this is a great exercise, it is important for children to also learn how to cut paper since this is a different experience and requires some problem solving.

Exercise 2:

Allow your child to snip cardstock while sitting at a table. Position hands and show him how to use the scissors with a hand over hand technique. Praise, talk about shapes he is cutting out and enjoy the time. Also get ready to settle in for a long time. I find that when children are successful with scissors, they will sit there for a good hour snipping away.

Exercise 3:

Take a large sheet of paper and tape it to the wall on the top. The child sits in front of it and cuts the paper. The wall serves as a guide and helps in keeping the scissors straight. The child also learns about angling his wrist so he can get a smooth cut.

Exercise 4:

Print out some sheets of lines and shapes for your child to cut out. This helps build a lot of coordination and you can also incorporate learning about shapes. Enchanted Learning has several sheets that you can print out for this activity, or you can make them yourself.

Oh, if you are eco-conscious, which is always a good idea, take the little bits of paper and place it in a bits container. When your child wants to do some gluing, take out the bits and let him create murals from the already cut pieces.

Sirena Van Schaik

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So come on over, take a look and give us a rating. 

Thanks

Sirena Van Schaik

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If you can’t tell, I’m not a big fan of cell phones.  I’m not overly thrilled about walking through a grocery store and overhearing a sensitive conversation that a person is having.  I, kid you not, have heard some pretty obscene and scandalous conversations that made me turn out of aisles just so I didn’t have to overhear them.  (Can anyone say…don’t shout if you are talking on a cell phone.)  I have also been cut off by happy talkers in their cars and I have been interrupted by texts and people needing to check to see if that call was worth answering.

But that isn’t the big reason why I dislike cell phones.  The big reason is that I don’t want to be tracked down.  Sure cell phones come in handy and if there is an emergency they are a life saver but if I’m not at home, just leave a message.  I don’t need to have a conversation while I drive or as I’m pulling toilet paper off the store shelf.  I’m fine with being by myself and not having to answer questions while I’m out.  I’m perfectly happy with not being accessible 24/7.

So now that you are getting some idea just how peculiar I am, I should probably get down to the reason for my little ramble (or was that rant) about cell phones.

Just last week, the Toronto Public Health Advisory recommended that children under the age of 8 should not use cell phones, unless in cases of emergency.  They also went on to saying that teens should also limit their cell phone use to 10 minutes at a time.  – cbc news, July 12, 2008

This isn’t to say that cell phones are bad for them but since there is little known about the effects of long term cell phone use, teens and children should take extra precautions when using them.

So, I thought I would mention it on That Parent Place and open it up for discussion.  What do you think about cell phones?  Do you think children should have them, even as young as 8 or do you think they should be much older?

I see the benefit of security and knowing where your kids are with a cell phone but there are as many pro’s as there are con’s when it comes to children and cell phones.  And more importantly, do you feel cell phones will have long term health effects on our children.

Please let me know what you think.

Sirena Van Schaik

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I just wanted to touch base and apologize for the lack of posts over the last week. I have been off with a horrible stomach flu. Thankfully it is over and also thankfully, my husband was able to take a few days off while I was disposed.

There is nothing worse than being sick and it really has nothing to do with any of the feelings involved. Usually for me, it is the lack of being able to do anything, from taking care of the kids to working to just being able to eat a cracker. I hate the feeling of helplessness and of not being there 100% for my kids.

Being sick really got me thinking about parents in general and single parents specifically. I know that not everyone has the ability to take time off work if their spouse is sick and not everyone has a spouse or close family members that can. This leaves them with a pretty difficult situation and being sick is something that they can’t afford.

As I already mentioned, I am really lucky that my husband could take time off for me but I am aware that not everyone else has that luxury. So even though I am writing a post explaining my disappearance, I would like to take a moment and commend single parents.

This isn’t to say that I don’t think it is difficult being a parent regardless of if you are one, two or a whole community but I’m not sure what I would have done if my husband was not there to take care of the kids while I was sick. We sometimes forget that as hard as parenting can be with two parents, it can be much harder with just one.

So that is my little musing for today. I will be back tomorrow with more posts and everyone gets the added bonus of having me post on weekends for the next several weeks so I can get caught up with posts.

Have a great day and hopefully you won’t get sick like I did.

Sirena Van Schaik

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And this love of books isn’t reserved to my bookshelves alone.  My kids enjoy my infatuation with books and have several bookshelves in their rooms.  Despite having all these books, there is one set that I really feel is a must for any toddler to preschoolers shelf and I wanted to mention it here.  This is rare for me because even though there are brands and products that I love, I try not to push any one product.

As I mentioned in the Cheat Sheet:Volcanoes, I have a illustrated dictionary for my kids.  This is one of our favorite books and I have used it so much that I have actually had to repair the binding.  Still, that is not the book that I feel is a must have and it is actually a series of books that I am referring to.

These are the My First Steps to Reading by Jane Belk Moncure and illustrated by Colin King.  This is a set of 25 books with a parenting guide on helping your child to read and also a package of flashcards that correspond to the books.

They are very colorful and the storyline, although simple, is one that holds a child’s attention.  What makes these books so great is that each letter of the alphabet, except x,y,z, each have their own books.  All of them follow the same plot where a character, who is called by the letter he or she represents, such as “Little A”, is trying to fill a box with things that begin with his or her sound.  So the story reads, “Little A had a box,” with pictures near the word to represent “Little A,” “the box” and other things that are in the story.

Children can follow along in the story and eventually begin to memorize the repetition.  Since they are following the words, they begin to remember what words look like (especially with the flash cards) and eventually they begin telling you the story.

This is a great set for building those pre-reading skills and one that I would strongly recommend.  When i purchased them for my first child, he was identifying words in the book by 18 months of age and was reading along with me by the time he was 2 and a half.

So there is my first little plug to an actual product but trust me, you will be very happy that you have these books on your child’s bookshelf.

Sirena Van Schaik

*Photo Note:  Yes, that is an interactive R2-D2, a great toy that I think I play with more than my son does.*

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Happy Father’s Day

We hope that you have a great day filled with everything you enjoy whether that is sitting outside with the kids, hitting the golf course or grilling up some steaks. Enjoy the day and everyone that you get to spend it with.

Sirena Van Schaik and That Parent Place

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If you are hosting a garage sale, and are in Canada, it is important to understand that you are legally responsible for the items that you sell.  If they are damaged or do not meet safety regulations, you can be responsible for any injuries that are sustained.  It is important to check the safety of the items you are selling before your garage sale.

If you are attending garage sales and are picking up some items for your kids or your baby, it is important to understand some of the safety issues when it comes to garage sale items.  I have listed some of them below.

• Cribs: There are many inexpensive cribs being offered through garage sales and occasionally you can find a good deal on one.  It is important to bring a measuring tape with you to check the width of the bars and the height of the posts.  The crib bars should never be wider than 6 cm apart and the corner posts should never be more than 3mm high.  The mattress itself, should never be farther than 3 cm from the side of the crib.  When it comes to age, any crib made before 1986 should be avoided since it does not meet current standards.  Other cribs to avoid are ones with suspended mattresses held on by an S hook.
• Walkers:  This is something that is applicable to Canada since walkers are banned.  Exersaucers are legal but these are the toys where baby cannot push himself around with.  Walkers lead to a high level of accidents and should be avoided.
• Bicycle Helmets:  You should never purchase any type of helmet at a garage sale since there is no way to know the history of the helmet since they could have minute cracks that offer the child no protection if they were to fall.
• Baby Gates:  Avoid any gates with large openings or a “V” shaped pattern.  Also make sure that you have all the important information with the gate such as manufacturer, and the date it was manufactured.
• Car Seats:   I would recommend never purchasing a car seat at a garage sale since you do not have any of the history on the seat.  If a car seat is in even one accident, it is deemed unsafe and should not be used or sold.  Since there is no way to really determine if it was in an accident, it is better to avoid them all together.  If you do decide to purchase a car seat make sure it meets all the Motor Vehicle Safety Standards of your state or country.
• Strollers:  Any stroller manufactured before 1985 should be avoided and you should also check to make sure that everything is in working order.  Test the brakes, folding buttons, wheels and straps.  Also make sure that the folding button locks securely and that the stroller will not fold up on your child.

For most of the other items, you can pretty well use common sense. Avoid purchasing anything that was used for bathing and try to purchase items that are not broken in anyway. All in all, if you feel uncomfortable with the item, don’t purchase it, even if the seller is offering it to you at a steal. 

All the best and happy garage sale hunting.

Sirena Van Schaik

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