Jul 30 2008
The Grooming Debate
When I was 13, I remember the humiliation of starting Grade 8 with hairy legs. I thought it was a crime against humanity that everyone I knew was allowed to shave except me. I spent the summer ranting and raving only to hear my mom’s explanation, “You’re hair is so pale, no one will notice.”
I was horrified, “How couldn’t they notice, I looked like a gorilla.”
Of course, it wasn’t that bad but my sister, who is 4 years older, was on my side. She had been allowed to shave at 12 and she was allowed many other liberties that my mom was not allowing me. She felt the unfairness of the situation and in all fairness to my mom, I think she was having a hard time with the fact that the baby of the family was finally growing up.
Finally, after a desperate plea, my mom sighed in resignation and said, “If you want to shave, I can’t stop you but I’m not showing you how to do it.”
That probably would have ended the debate completely since I was nervous about taking a razor to my legs without any guidance but my sister took me into the bathroom on the first day back to school and showed me how to shave. My mom didn’t say anything but I think she was a little disappointed that I had taken another step towards womanhood.
And this brings me to the grooming debate. My mom had held out for as long as she could with me but mob mentality won the day in my house, although it was a long hard battle. I am grateful that she held out for as long as she did because once I started shaving, I saw the error of my ways and often wondered why I had wanted to start in the first place.
Today, more and more girls are not only being encouraged but also pressured by their mom’s to start shaving and even waxing at a young age. This doesn’t stop with just the legs and the armpits but also extends to the bikini and even a Brazilian body wax and children have even begun this ritual at the young age of 9.
I’m know there is a big push for grooming but when is it too young and what message are we sending our children. Is it not better to wait until the child is ready or at least make her wait until she has developed enough to warrant shaving? When is waiting going too far?
For me, 13 was too long to wait but for my sister, who start puberty at 9, 12 was even longer. It is important to encourage good grooming practices in young teen girls but in many ways, parents are going to far. Young girls are going for spa treatments to look younger (not sure why you would want to look younger at that age since I always wanted to look older) and are encouraged to do so by their mothers.
I don’t think a nice pedicure or manicure (age appropriate) is an inappropriate mother and daughter outing but anything else is really not necessary.
Although I have my own feelings in the matter, I would love to share this article with you. The writer, Carrie Denny, really illustrates what is going on and does the topic much more justice than I could possible do.
So what age do you think is too young? How much of an encouragement should we give our kids when it comes to grooming? Should we step back, relax and not pressure them into being the next glamour girl?
Sirena Van Schaik
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